Caregiver Support Groups: How to Find Your People

Caregiving is isolating. Your friends don't get it. Your siblings aren't helping. Your spouse is tired of hearing about it. And you're exhausted, resentful, scared, and desperately need someone who understands—really understands—what you're going through.

That's what caregiver support groups are for. They're rooms (physical or virtual) full of people living the same impossible life you are. People who won't judge you for admitting you sometimes wish this was over. People who know exactly why you cried in the pharmacy parking lot.

Types of Caregiver Support Groups

In-Person Support Groups

Traditional face-to-face groups meeting at hospitals, churches, senior centers, or community organizations.

• Pros: Human connection, body language, hugs, getting out of the house
• Cons: Need to arrange care coverage, travel time, fixed schedule
• Best for: Caregivers who can get respite and crave in-person connection

Online Support Groups

Virtual groups via Zoom, forums, or social media—available 24/7 from anywhere.

• Pros: No travel, flexible timing, access while caregiving, anonymity if desired
• Cons: Less personal, technology barriers, can feel less "real"
• Best for: Long-distance caregivers, those who can't leave, introverts, nighttime caregivers

Condition-Specific Groups

Groups focused on a particular diagnosis: Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, stroke, cancer, ALS, etc.

• Pros: Highly relevant advice, shared understanding of specific challenges
• Cons: May not address general caregiver issues
• Best for: When you need specific information and strategies for your parent's condition

Relationship-Specific Groups

Groups for adult children caring for parents, spouse caregivers, or sandwich generation (caring for parents and children).

• Pros: Shared relationship dynamics and life-stage challenges
• Cons: May miss cross-relationship insights
• Best for: When relationship issues are a big part of your stress

Professionally-Led vs. Peer-Led Groups

• Professionally-led: Facilitated by social workers, nurses, or counselors. More structured, educational components, help managing difficult dynamics
• Peer-led: Run by current or former caregivers. Often more informal, deeply empathetic, "been there" credibility

Where to Find Caregiver Support Groups

National Organizations

Condition-Specific Organizations

Local Resources

• Your local Area Agency on Aging: Call the Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) to find your local agency
• Hospitals and health systems: Many offer free caregiver support groups
• Senior centers: Often host caregiver groups
• Religious organizations: Churches, synagogues, mosques may have groups
• Hospice organizations: Offer groups even if you're not using hospice services
• PACE programs: If your parent is enrolled, caregiver support is often included

Online Communities

What to Expect at Your First Meeting

The Format

Most support groups follow a similar structure:

1. Welcome and introductions: Share your name and brief situation
2. Check-ins: How has your week been? What's on your mind?
3. Discussion: Open sharing or a specific topic
4. Resources: Information sharing, announcements
5. Closing: Wrap-up, reminders about next meeting

Ground Rules

Most groups have guidelines like:

• Confidentiality—what's shared stays in the group
• No judgment or unsolicited advice
• One person speaks at a time
• Respect different perspectives and choices
• It's okay to just listen (especially at first)

Common Feelings

It's normal to feel:

• Nervous: Sharing with strangers is vulnerable
• Relief: "These people actually get it"
• Sadness: Hearing others' struggles can bring up your own
• Guilt: "My situation isn't as bad as theirs"
• Hope: Seeing others cope gives you hope
• Exhaustion: Emotional processing is tiring

Getting the Most from Support Groups

Go More Than Once

The first meeting is always awkward. Give it at least 3-4 sessions before deciding if it's right for you. Connections take time to build.

Be Honest

Support groups work because people are real. You don't have to be brave or positive. The dark thoughts, the resentment, the exhaustion—those are exactly what support groups are for.

Take What Helps, Leave What Doesn't

Not every piece of advice applies to your situation. Not every person will resonate with you. That's okay. Take what's useful.

Consider Giving Back

As you gain experience, your insights become valuable to newer caregivers. The reciprocity of helping others while being helped is powerful.

Supplement, Don't Replace

Support groups are wonderful but may not be enough if you're dealing with:

• Clinical depression or anxiety
• Trauma or PTSD
• Suicidal thoughts
• Complicated family dynamics

In these cases, individual therapy with a caregiver-informed therapist may also be needed.

Barriers and How to Overcome Them

"I Don't Have Time"

This is the most common barrier—and the most ironic. You're too busy caregiving to get support for caregiving.

• Try online groups you can access at 11pm when your parent is asleep
• Use respite care for the meeting time—this IS a valid use of respite
• Consider it an investment that makes you a better caregiver

"I Don't Want to Be a Burden"

You're not a burden—you're a participant. Support groups are reciprocal. Your presence helps others too.

"My Situation Is Too Complicated"

Every situation feels uniquely complicated. But the emotions—exhaustion, grief, frustration, love—are universal. You'll find more common ground than you expect.

"I'm Not a 'Group' Person"

Many caregivers feel this way. Options:

• Try online forums where you can participate anonymously
• Look for smaller groups (6-8 people vs. 20)
• Consider one-on-one peer support programs

"I'll Just Cry the Whole Time"

Crying is allowed. Expected, even. Tissues are always available. No one will think less of you.

When Support Groups Aren't Enough

Support groups are valuable but have limits. Consider additional help if:

• You're unable to function (can't sleep, can't eat, can't work)
• You're having thoughts of harming yourself or your parent
• You're using alcohol or drugs to cope
• Your physical health is declining significantly
• You're experiencing panic attacks or severe anxiety
• The group isn't addressing your specific needs

Starting Your Own Group

Can't find a group that fits? Consider starting one:

1. Find a free meeting space (library, church, community center)
2. Create a simple flyer and post at hospitals, senior centers, doctors' offices
3. Start with a small committed group (even 3-4 people)
4. Establish basic ground rules
5. Keep it consistent—same time, same place
6. Consider reaching out to local social workers for guidance

The Bottom Line

You don't have to do this alone. You're not the only one lying awake at 3am wondering how you're going to get through tomorrow. There are rooms full of people—in your community and online—who know exactly what you're facing.

Finding your people doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're smart enough to know that humans aren't designed to carry these burdens solo. Caregiving takes a village—and support groups can become that village.